Drawn in by what you promised me that day i took the oath. I fell prey to your diamond lies and ever present smile. I recall awkward days of doubting every thing I did. All I had I gave to your limp crusade and liar's pride. For one moment I felt secure. Blind trust false hope leads to dark days. Scolded then scalded by your burning accusations. The gates to your shrine are hot to the touch and quick to close. I never wanted to stay, I just wanted the fair exchange not your stepfordian creed. Enlightenment at the cost of of my feathers is not a price that I am willing to pay. For one moment I felt secure. I salute your isolation as long as I'm allowed to freely breathe as the sentient beast I am. For one moment i felt secure. Branded a dissident, I brandish individuality. I slice a smile of rebellion wide through your ranks.

We will not soon mend the wound. We stood shocked as we heard the squall. All for one and none for the other. Fate and choice. One lost a mother, a brother lost us. We will not soon mend the wound. We're not the same since you left with our hearts and our minds will not stop racing with thoughts of your voice and all the words that you said. (for Ginny Solone & Malachi Ritscher)

There's no reasoning with the thin-skinned masochist. Your vanishing act may prove an escape, so why dig your teeth so deep and play the gun-toting catalyst to the quick return of my dormant insecurities? Try to fly a needle of a scream to your invisible ears. Let your tongue taste my salt. Tether my pain to your fault. Under the heaviest skies, the stars pushing me down, this celestial anvil I wear like a crown. This stands as a paragon of my fallible intuition. Left so self-conscious like those I deemed so confident. Left me so frail like those I deemed so strong before you. All the longing and all the disgust and all the while head held high. Clockwise scowl from the giver of grins buckles his knees like an explosion, turned inside out suffering in reverse.

Closer than I wanted, chiseling porcelain doubt. What remains is clear and shiny, and broken like a day without words. Obsolete, your actions find no reward and it leaves you hollow, prone to the probing of those who misconstrue your failure for fault. Your cave is dim and the glorious sun only slivers your walls occasionally. I saw your eyes sliced by light, your pieces sewn back together like a reminder of the bombast. A bottle full of words for the smashing of heads. A floor peppered with shards, you've become the cautious walker. Flying fragile paper arms. The coward's cry becomes your mantra. Overcome by fright, by the fear of the light of the flight. Dismayed friends cloaked in shadow. Dismayed friends cloaked in shame. Oblivious to the torture and oblivious to the hate just outside the cave, they breathe it in like the neighbors. I've become a venom-less snake so sick of slithering. Oblivious to the torture and hate outside the cave, they breathe it in like the neighbors of industry. Tending to their disgusting gardens, they feast ignorant on polluted fruit. I cope, but my pills grow large all the while my throat constricts.

Under the guise of a fallow, seeding all the while, the silent germination thrives on all the filth you sow. So subcutaneous, like a shadow cast in shade. The only way to see it clearly is to cause the one to fade. Cast aside, he stands reluctant, spoiled food regretting the swallow. Knees cracked, shattered elbows, lips and limbs left loveless and cold. One more lost moment begets echoes of pain. No limbs left to cross, no comforting warmth, merely a nest of hair frozen in knives of ice. Like a broken hand, it hurts to hold on. This was no accident. The nakedness can often obscure the truth and this was brimming intent. It's bloodlust but its lust at least, undeniable and warm and I take it like a champion, a bravery born too late.

I've got my secrets, got my addictions, my thin glass veil of dirty predilections. I'm trying to sleep with the room on fire, seems my closet arsonist found the matches again. Live wake to slumber, you'll end up on your shell kicking the clouds from the sky. It will keep you far away, your dark cancer. The hidden flaws of coping, your dead dancer. The hardened jaws of growing, slave to your master. The ardent maws and howling of your gnashing disaster. We will kill this old friend tonight. Flensing each other as the sun skins the sky. Tangle-touching skeletons in a night of no end. Shadow-fondling our mingled flesh as the severed habits ascend. It will keep you far away, your dark cancer. The hidden flaws of coping, your dead dancer. The hardened jaws of growing. The ardent maws and howling of your sprawling crawling gnashing disaster. We're caged in the shadows like profit tigers awaiting escape. Mirror-kissing yesterday's wound with self-reflected disgust, like ipecac kisses in a dream of brown shadows and broken teeth. My hat's off to this amputation. Here we stand, fleshless in the shadows of black habit.

Seek the truth, crush the doubt. Force fed lies, slit the throat. Bite the hand, gag my mouth. Burn my eyes, breathe the smoke. Bind my wrists, slap the face. Grit your teeth, bite the brick. This will soon be the end of the pain and of the guilt. Cold is the grasp, the dead breath of my friend. In this age of senseless faith, I propose an intervention. Bold and focused our arms will not fail with stentorian voices, if we hold the evidence to be true to ourselves as the crust and the rust belies the trust. Wide eyes towards the sky awaiting a sign of recognition for the cries and the trials of this reprehensible world. A toeless foot holds me off kilter, gagged clumsy and dumb. The longest hours spent staring at where you once stood. My eyes wide towards the sky, flesh beckoning stalking vultures, as my soul escapes its earthly restraints. I want to watch it all end, it will be beautiful. Pull me under or lift me up, but do it now. Set me free of these terrestrial shackles. I will stand here waiting, watching, living, naked, broken, with wide eyes towards the sky. Wait for night to come. Perform the sacred rite. Alter my consciousness so they might see the light. I've grown too accustomed to all the wrong things, the sight of the meek and the taste of my blood, the anger of men and their slickness, this land full of hate and so full of sickness. This will stand as an unanswered question, a beckoning riddle. This cloud shrouded sky lets the birds move in secret, a migration unnoticed as I do what I never thought possible and say again what I never meant. Daunted by your very breath, but enticed enough to lay at your feet. Daunted by your very breath, but enticed enough to lay at your feet. I write with heavy hands and noble intent, a fiery letter to the collector of complicated truths, who whittles us thin and naked. Falling on the eyes again, dumbfounded by fools and the rules of the gesture. The dance is decadent. A gestating apocalypse lies in wait. Of arrows slung far and shadows cast long, I'll fashion a fortress from the ignorant hordes. Waiting watching waiting watching living. Wait for night to fall. Write it out in blood. Light myself ablaze, so they might see the light. Wait for night to fall. Write it out in blood. Light myself ablaze, so they might see the light. You made a bed of fire, tucked yourself into flame. Eyes that hurt to open will never close again. Your final breath might keep countless more alive. Your dying breath may prove to be your greatest fight. Finding solidarity in solitude and giving body to the dead voices with wide eyes towards the sky.